Jessica (theglitterqueen) wrote,

Soo it goes...

I have been having extreme anxiety about the next 10 years of my life lately.

It's kind of making me want to just go kill myself right now.

The bead store is an pretty cool job, I liked PF better as a job, more duties and responsibilies and creative tasks, plus the store is nicer (and has a properly working sink/toilet) but the people at Beadworld are great, and the pay is better and the discount ROCKS! So, I'll live.

Nikki (owner) said most people average 25 hours a week outside of x-mas/inventory (basically nov-feb), but there are always opportunities to take more shifts/stay extra and stuff. There are no technical breaks, so lunch doesn't get taken out of your paycheck either, so there's more money, but I'll see what my paychecks are like and I can get more hours if I need them.

Nikki is really cool, she said "Let me know how that works for you! I want you to be able to eat!". So, we'll see what happens.

The other thing is that there is no insurance benefits there, no suprise at all, and I don't need them now. But in less than 3 years I will be ON MY OWN for medical insurance.

Which means I will either A.) Need to get signed and record an album so I can get it through BMI (apparently that's how Eric does) b.) Get another corporate fulltime job like Nordstroms with benefits and sell my soul C.) Get Married to someone who can let me mooch of their medical insurance.

Option B.) is the most likely to happen, although option A.) would be optimal, and option C.), well, who knows what the fuck is going to happen with that shit.

All I know is that I have to have my shit together by the time I am 25 or I am going to end up with thousands of dollars worth of medical bills because I get sick all the time and have no insurance coverage. Grrrr. I can't ever go without it.

Isn't there some insurance option for students too though? I DEFINITELY want to go back to school sometime, I can't actually GET financial aid until I am 25 though, meaning full time school=no full time work. Unless I want to wear myself out! I could do it, I'm sure, but man..... Maybe I should just start saving every penny again to go off and get a BA somewhere. Damnitt!

Sooo much shit I wanna do with my life, being poor sucks. Once my dad stops paying alimony to my mom he'd prolly help me out with school again, but INSURANCE!!!!

I feel like my life is going to be ruined because I HAVE TO HAVE INSURANCE!.

I have to have it, thus if the only way of getting it is with a full time job, then that's kind of where I will be stuck for a long long time. I guess school PART TIME could work?

There must be some sort of student insurance, it would at least be cheaper.....

Fuck, I dunno. We'll see what happens, I am just realizing I won't be able to work these fun little jobs forever, and I need to think about saving money for this other shit I wanna do with my life! Buying a car comes NEXT, mine doesn't have much life left in it.....Blah, being an adult is stupid.
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